Courage Cosmic Way

It should have been my first clue. But hey, I was brand new to this phenomenon called Internet dating way back in the year 2000 and was logged on to the website that everyone assured me was the best way to meet the man of your dreams. How was I to know that this would be the first in a series of knee slapping, gut busting, crying my makeup off, funny ass stories that I was going to bring home to share with my loved ones about my jacked up dating life.

I don't really recall my first few interactions, only that I was pretty cautious. Because, hey....there could be some psycho stalker out there just waiting to rape/murder/abduct me, right? So after multiple emails back and forth and eventually a tentative phone call, we decided to meet in person.

We met at Joanafina's down in Pierpont for a quick bite in the afternoon, it seemed safe enough and I felt like it gave me the option to extend for a stroll down the beach (hand in hand of course) if things went well and we "clicked" as I had so desperately hoped.

He was a construction worker, lived in Santa Barbara, had a huge loving family that he was super close to and he loved to travel. Plus he had that gorgeous sun drenched skin and highlighted hair of someone who spent their time outside...paired with seriously awesome blue eyes. What was not to like, right???

Let's translate for a minute, kay?

• Construction worker = I helped build the shack I live in with my brother
• In the hills of Santa Barbara = Was squatting on land that didn't belong to him
• Huge loving family = Was raised on a boat with 9 siblings who were taught by mom by "reading lots of books and surrounding themselves with smart people" because they didn't "believe" in school
• Love to travel = Enter the boat on which he was raised and didn't leave until he was 25

Misrepresent much????

I eventually had to excuse myself to the restroom to use my newfangled Nokia cell phone to call my friends daughter so she could call ME in 5 to fabricate an emergency pick up. What did one do before cell phones anyway???? Chew your arm off like a coyote?

And oh yeah....Courage Cosmic Way???

That was his name. I shoulda freaking known. Exit stage left my friends.

Much love from the dating cesspool

Jeni