I don't think a Kleenex would help this one.....

Hi all!

Below is a guest blog from my friend Heidi who told me this story while we were in the airport drinking a cocktail before a flight to Reno this last July. Heidi is married to an awesome guy, has 3 amazing kids and hasn't dated for a couple dozen years at this point. She told me that she actually couldn't talk about this event for over 20 years because she was so horrified. She's a damn good storyteller and by the time she got to the punch line I almost fell off my bar stool laughing...I hope you enjoy as well!

Jen

I was the fragile age of 17. Senior in high school and full of excitement and anxiety. There was a boy a year or so older than me that I really was infatuated with. I had given the message, through friends, that I was interested in him and patiently waited for him to ask me out. When weeks went by and no invitation I figured he needed to know me better and I was going to take matters into my own hands.

My friends parents were going out of town and we figured if we threw a party he was sure to be there. Party plans were under way and the excitement was building. I knew this was my big night! I had figured out exactly what to wear, lied to my parents (sorry mom) and was ready to meet my new man. A day before the party day I woke up with the cold of a lifetime. I could not breathe and my head was full of gallons of mucus...

There was no way I was missing the party and spending the evening with the object of my affection. I rested up and got ready for the evening with great anticipation. We set up the house for the party and we were underway! An hour or so into the party he arrives with a few equally studly friends. Soon myself, a girlfriend, he and another boy were all standing in a circle talking. Here was my BIG chance for him to get to know me! We visited and giggled for a bit and then I felt a sneeze coming on......I put my hands together in the mannerly triangle and Kerchew! It was a major sneeze. As I looked up to meekly utter a shy "excuse me" I felt something wet on my face. I quickly realized I had an eighteen inch snot rocket hanging from my nose! What do you do with that? Seriously, I had no Kleenex in hand and what do you do next?

I exited the area and ran to the bathroom to get rid of my temporary appendage. Needless to say, I never went back into the party area and quickly made my way home.

I was so relieved to meet the love of my life a few years later and realize that that boy was not really worth it after all....