I am a realist.....I know I am far from perfect in a lot of ways. My curves have gotten more abundant as I've aged, I occasionally get acne, I snort when I laugh too hard, I have a tendency to interrupt people when I get excited about something and I snore after drinking too much wine. But I am honest in my faults and tend to look at them more like special quirks that make me who I am.
After a few interactions with guys I met online that didn't quite measure up I actually had my best male friend (and former boyfriend from a zillion years ago) look at my dating profile and asked him "Is this a good representation of who I am?". He knows me inside and out so when his reply was a solid yes...I felt pretty good because I do NOT want to be one of those people who show up for a "blind" date and have the other party reeling because what was delivered was not at all what was advertised. I get annoyed because not only is this dating crap hard, why would you making it harder by saying or showing that you are something that you are most obviously not. If I have to find a guy online, why not give him exactly what he is gonna get? So my profile pictures show me as is....full figured in a bathing suit (tasteful, mind you)....smiling and sticking my tongue out, hamming it up after too many beers....with makeup and without...fishing, camping and playing....you know??
So unlike the Forrest Gump "box o' chocolates" ism.....You actually do know what you are gonna get.
In one such situation I had corresponded with a very nice guy from a dating website and after finding out that we had a few things in common like a love of reading and for driving up the coast for the day just to get away we decided to meet for coffee at the local Coffee Bean.
I drove up and got out of my car and he was waiting for me on the patio, with a coffee and a copy of Dante's Inferno on the table. And low and behold he actually looked like his picture! Dark hair, blue eyes, about 5'10" with an average body and a solid handshake. He apologized for not ordering me a coffee as he didn't know what I wanted and offered to buy me my choice of beverage. Nice start!
We grabbed a tea for me and we sat down and started chatting and after a few minutes I started to notice some things that were missing as he spoke. They were small things, not super noticeable at first. But as he got more animated and comfortable it was more obvious that he was missing at least 3 teeth on the top of his grill. And as I tried to get a better look while not being obvious about it I realized the rest of his grill was in piss poor shape.
I know that not everyone is blessed with good tooth genes, nor can everyone afford to have pearly white veneers or implants. But for crying out loud....WHY in gods name would you think that this an OK to hide or breeze over when you are advertising yourself????
As soon as I reached the count of 4 teeth I decided to cut my losses and get the hell out of Dodge before he thought that there was any chance in hell that he was getting his mouth near my mouth. Because really??? No way!!! As he walked me to his car he pointed out rather excitedly that we both drove Honda's and wasn't that a coincidence?!?!? Being that his was a 1985 Honda CRV with a black bra (yes, a bra-I didn't know they still made those!) on the front I was pretty happy about the tooth thing because if it was up to me I would have rejected him for the car and bra alone and that might have made me a materialistic be-yotch instead of just someone who values good dental hygiene in her future mate.
Yours in blessedly good hygiene,
Jen
No comments:
Post a Comment