First and foremost, let me preface this story with a disclaimer that I am in no way a shallow, snotty or egotistical person in ANY way. Nor am I a money grubbing woman looking for a sugar daddy (although how awesome would THAT be?!) Seriously, who wouldn't want a man throwing cash at you for the sole purpose of being their mate even if for a short time? You know as well as I do that we always joke about it and I have to wonder what I would do if propositioned as such....hmmmm. Now that I have gotten the disclaimer out of the way, onto the real reason it is titled "One Headlight".
As with most of the men that I date whether one date or multiple dates, I met this one on-line while doing a little man shopping one Sunday afternoon. Lately, that's all I had been doing was shopping for men, but at least it was much less expensive than a new pair of shoes or a great pair of jeans that make your ass look AMAZING! But I digress....lets call him "Neon". Now Neon and I did the usual chatting back and forth for a while and talked on the phone a few times before we agreed to meet for dinner. Meeting at a local restaurant where we both agreed was a mutual and safe meeting place (after all you can never be too careful or overly cautious), I was the last to arrive and that's exactly how I wanted it. Truth be told, the reason for that is in the event I walk in there and find myself in a pickle that I do not see ending positively, I have the advantage of being able to escape rather quickly. Not that I have had to do that, but I think its a must to plan for such an occurrence. Surprisingly though I was pleasantly surprised to have had really enjoyed myself, the company and conversation. He was my "type" whatever that "type" was at the moment. Once we parted ways, a second date was definitely in order. Good sign and no red flags!
Second date started with me having to make the arrangements for the time and location, I wasn't too thrilled about that, but whatever. At least take the time to put a little effort into it. Oh and I drove....even better. But prior to that whole me driving thing, he had to first get to my apartment and go from there. First of all, he was 2 hours late....2 HOURS LATE! Seriously? Yes....2 whole hours, 160 minutes, 7200 seconds late. It was supposed to start at 6, but 6 turned into 8. As I was talking to him on the phone and giving him the directions and "guiding" him into my apartment complex, we were talking back and forth about the area and he said "I think I am close to your place, I just passed the mailbox". Hmmm.....all I see at that moment is a car with what looks like one headlight out and its making a squeaking noise. "Great! I don't see you yet." "I just pulled into a parking spot." Oh.....okay....you are the vehicle with the one headlight, squeaky noise and the dry rotted car bra....okay. (Jeni, the co-writer also had a story of a car bra, see it happens everywhere!) Oh wow...unusual I thought for someone of such stature in the job they said they had. But hey, who am I too judge, right? So, as you can see, I had no problems driving to dinner.
While driving and making conversation, I noticed that he was extremely nervous, I mean bad! He claimed that he hadn't done this in awhile. He was so nervous that it made me uncomfortable. Bad sign...red flag. It was in this same conversation that I started asking about his job, what he did, etc. It was then that he revealed to me that what he said he was on the "profile" didn't quite match what he in actuality was. There is no way that his occupation could have topped the one guy I met who said he was a part time astronaut and foot model. Yep..that happened. Now I don't care what your job is, other than a part time astronaut and foot model or if you even have a job, or that you are in between jobs. Whatever...the point of that matter was that he led me to believe something that he truly wasn't. Essentially, he was claiming to be a CEO and turns out he was really the copier. He tried to pad his portfolio with stuff that didn't matter. I swear, this whole leading me on thing to believe something is really starting to piss me off. Bad!
Since I was the one driving, I had the advantage to end the date early. I took "Neon" back to my place and we just simply parted ways. As I watched him drive away with one headlight and squeak every time he went over a speed bump with a dry rotted car bra flapping in the wind, I just shook my head and thought about my standards. Maybe my standards of honesty and being yourself and following through are way too high. Then again I am not sure how much more honest you can be with one headlight.
With love and high beams on,
Sheri
